I remember being in 9th grade and writing my first poem about my crush. Gladly, it turned out so well at that time. I used to maintain a diary where I just used to write quotes that were motivational and used to share them with my class teacher, who used to write them on top of the blackboard. One day my English teacher saw my diary and read it while I was collecting school calendars. The timing was so bad that she read the poem I wrote for my crush. She scolded me for that later, but at first she praised me in front of the whole class for writing an original piece. Days passed, and my writing hobby turned into playing instruments like the guitar, tabla, and piano.


I can say that my writing was left behind because as soon as I entered college, my heart got broken by a girl, which led me into making music and being one of the popular guys. Music gave it all, and in between, my writing hobby was really left behind. Until one evening, while I was strumming my guitar, a few original lines came into my mind, which reminded me that I do write. The journey of my writing started again, but this time not with poetry but with blogs. The shuffling between music and writing was going on for a long time. Now here came the time when I started to earn from both of my hobbies. On the other hand, I had shows to play and multiple open mics too. I started it all with an idea. idea that had my dedication in it, but with each passing year I was unable to manage it well because I can only take one step at a time, that is, on one stone, not two. Everyday I start out with a new novel, excited to read like a thousand pages a day, but eventually end up watching anime and sometimes nothing the day after. I feel that in the end, my life will be the race that is half-run. Like, I always started it off with my 100 percent but never completed it whole. I will never be called a finisher or a winner. To be honest, it scares me that I might not finish this blog. 


But here is the next paragraph. What's wrong if everything I do makes me happy? Even if it takes all of my time? Does drinking half a glass of water not settle my thirst? It can. You know the real culprit is the feeling of "not being ok." On the other side, that feeling is perfectly obvious too. It has its own perks. Learning about and engaging myself in these things cuts me off from the outer world's dramas. It also tells me that I am able to manage my given tasks one at a time. It tells me that a glass of water is still a glass of water, even if it's half full. It still has the power to quench my thirst if it's within that limit. It reminds me that I am not my phone's battery, which should always be 100 percent. I am a human. I make mistakes and learn new things every day. I do have complex emotions, which are not always particularly aligned. I want something at one moment and something entirely different at the next, and that's okay. It's okay to learn new things simply because I enjoy them. It's okay to multitask. It's ok to have a side hustle, and it's ok to do nothing sometimes. It's ok to be whoever I want, whatever I want, however I want. I know there will be a time when I will want to be everything, but I can't. But I will be something, and that will be just as beautiful. You know my favourite song is "Always Remember Us This Way" by Lady Gaga, and it tells me that things are beautiful as they are.