Key to happiness : Not to expect anything from anyone.
We tend to overestimate expectations. Actually There are more implicit expectations than we think.
Our cities and neighborhoods should provide us with a sense of security on a daily basis. Our work should be compensated. The reasonable expectation is that we will stay healthy and not wake up paralyzed tomorrow.
Life has its own expectations, and sometimes they are not set by other people.
I believe you are actually quite unlikely to not have expectations from others, if you specifically consider them. Not all expectations are actively generated or thought about.
Being in the presence of our spouse should provide us with safety and comfort.
From friends, we expect understanding, support, and advice.
Our closest friends should not betray us.
We don't decide on these expectations one day. Our minds cannot articulate them nor can we articulate them with words. Our communal understanding of life is simply infused with them.
In essence, the complexity of expectations makes them a very important aspect of life in the sense that even though they can cause grief and disappointment, they provide a powerful structure and depth to our relationships, as well as our survival.
Relationships and social dynamics are living, organic parts of our lives, ones that grow and suffer damage, heal, and rebound with resilience afterward.
I am looking forward to my friend's birthday celebration... what will I be treated to?
As a result, we feel anxious about what my wife or husband will do, now that I've made this mistake.
They give us motivation. I will be rewarded and promoted for supporting the organization in this way.
They give us strength...I will assist him through this hard phase in his life and he will assist me through mine.
The people we love give us meaning...I'm here for her and I'll be there for her forever.
Escaping expectations is neither practicable, nor practical, unless we plan on living an ascetically pure life above worldly experiences and feelings.
Each one of us has expectations, which add quality, hue, and dimension to every part of our lives. A clean, perforated line does not separate life and expectations. Each of them is part of a much bigger, organic whole that's exquisite and deep.
Expectations that are disappointing come from other sources than the expectations themselves, according to my experience.
There is a lack of communication or Lot of talking: However, rarely do we talk about the things that really matter. The fact that uncommunicated expectations leave people disappointed is probably a big reason why expectations are so vilified as sources of great disappointment.
Your spouse surprises you often? Communicate it.
How about being pampered for a weekend and being taken care of like royalty? Communicate.
Irresponsibility: Wanting grand gestures of love, care, and concern everyday...wanting to talk on the phone for hours on end, irrespective of the other's schedule and workload. It is downright impractical to expect certain things. The unmet needs will cause pain if left unattended.
The connection of disappointment and fault: Failure is linked with disappointment: Feelings are powerful...some disappointments can be so painful that it seems out of the question that it is a valid, legitimate and perhaps even a shattering event.
The infliction of one's hurt feelings does not indicate fault on another's part.
Deeply hurt in your relationship and you didn't sorted it out.
The pain is real. Perhaps a situation that is profoundly difficult to comprehend.
Inflexibility: It is possible that an expectation is not met, regardless of how logical or practical it appears. A person cannot feel entitled to expect anything from us that requires an action by them, a thought by them, or a change by them.
It's easier to avoid disappointments associated with expectations if we become flexible and internalize that expectations can only be met by another if they consider them valid and voluntary actions.
How do I teach myself not to expect?
Assumptions hurt and more when you expect something from the ones who are near you so to encourage yourself to avoid assumptions you should zero in your assumption glass on yourself since it is you from whom you ought to expect not from any other person. And furthermore remember this line "Assumptions consistently hurt. It's smarter to be astounded than to be baffled."
Expectation.
Large word. Simple to set. Difficult to achieve.
We anticipate from individuals when we think they have the limit of giving us the things we need. Be it's anything but, a guarantee, love or appreciation. What's more, when we misconceive their abilities it drives us to the failure.
So a powerful method to stay away from this would be available to observe their actual limits with no correlations with yours. Prior to setting your assumptions, attempt to comprehend if that individual holds comparable mentality as yours to completely satisfy your assumptions or if nothing else have a capacity to comprehend your assumptions and work on them.
Assuming the appropriate response is no, you will naturally forgo expecting anything out of that individual. Since it will be uncalled for to free individuals since they bombed in doing things you needed them to do when they had no capacity for it.
So my recommendation will be, you can't quit anticipating things from individuals totally however you can handle who has the right to be on your assumption list. This will make the odds of frustration slimmer.
